A Bit About Me(Me) ~ Where Do I Start?

by Gwen


It is time once again, to step out from behind the book and get to know one another better.

We all have a story and a life beyond the book and thanks to Danielle from There’s A Book, we get share. She asks the questions and we get to answer.

Do you have a job you just couldn’t stand or possibly one that you were completely embarrassed by (ie. funny costume, etc.)?

Decisions, decisions…..do I take the easy way out or do I dig deep and go for more depth?

Horrible Job

Let’s see, there was the time that I started a job in the toy department at Target on Black Friday. Black Friday would be a bad day to start any job in retail, but in the toy department? Throw in that I am not really a kid person and it made for the longest 4 hours of my life. I clocked out and never went back.

Mortifying Job

Then there was the time that I decided to try telemarketing. Going in, I knew this probably wasn’t going to be the gig for me. Seriously, I HATE being on the phone. I think that Caller ID was made for people like me. If it is my mom, I have to answer it because if I don’t, she gets all crazy and thinks that I have run of to desert to join a cult or something. Everyone else? They usually get voice mail.

Where was I? Telemarketing. It could have been a really profitable job. I just had to call people and talk them into setting an appointment to hear about a super snazzy water filter setup. How hard could that be? Everyone drinks water, right?

They gave me a list of people to call. Where they got this list, I had no freaking clue, but after a few calls, I had a good idea. I start calling and asking for Mr. So and So or Mrs. XYZ…….BIG PROBLEMO These people were, ummmmm, dead. Before I knew it, I was commiserating with widows and widowers. I was crying, the people on the phone with cloudy water that I was supposed to be selling clean water to were crying. It was horrible. I was a telemarketing grief counselor. I lasted about 2 hours, 1 hour of that was training.

Humiliating Job

Being the low man on the totem pole is never a good thing. When you are new to a job you get all of the crappy tasks that no one that knows better wants to do. You have no pull and you have to look eager. You are there to impress so you will do anything.

Let me introduce you to the wonderful idea of “Kids Nite” at a restaurant. It didn’t matter that I was hired as a server, I was the new kid. I got stuck with the most hated role I have ever played in my life. The poor schumck that has to don a costume and stand on the corner enticing every yahoo that drives by to come and eat.

I give you my costume


Do I need to say more?


14 Comments to “A Bit About Me(Me) ~ Where Do I Start?”

  1. OMG…this is the best post ever! LOL! Your bad job stories are at least funny! I love the ALF costume. Hilarious. This post made my pretty cruddy day better!

  2. These are hilarious! Nothing I have ever done would compare to these jobs. I actually LOVE kids but there is no way in hell I would come within a mile of a Target toy department on Black Friday. I think the worst thing I had to do was detassle corn in the middle of a 95 degree summer. We even had to take salt pills so we wouldn’t pass out. But hey, anything to be able to afford my Jordache jeans.

  3. Oh no! You definitely have had some very not fun jobs. The costume is hilarious, but I suppose at least people couldn’t tell that it was you inside of it!!

  4. LOL! Your crap jobs make my crap jobs look like *great* jobs, and that’s tough to do. I’d rehash my summers in the 100 degree 3rd rate nursing home kitchen washing pureed “What *is* that anyway?” out of countless bowls, but I don’t want to revisit those days

  5. OMG!!! I am so sorry but am sitting here laughing. You definitely have paid your dues. Fantastic post!!!

  6. Hilarious! I’m glad you can openly admit that you’re not a kid person. I get looked at like I’m a serial killer when I say that. And my mom? She even gets the voicemail. And she definitely thinks I’ve run off to join a cult when she gets it. Or worse, that I might be upset with her. I just have to fortify myself for the call.

    I have not had the misfortune of working any of your jobs, but they all sound like pure torture to me. My husband worked kid’s parties in high school and he got stuck in the costume. My favorite story? His time as Minnie Mouse. You read that right. Minnie! Oh, I give him such a hard time when I think of it!

  7. Poor thing! I had to dress up in a G rated version of a sexy santa costume and walk around a bar at Christmas selling gift certificates, they called me Santa Anna… Wow, what wit.

  8. Wow, that is really a slew of awesome jobs! I never touched a call center with a ten foot pole, because I hate talking on the phone too (I’m with you on caller ID too)! My current job reminds me that somehow, despite the fact that I’m the only person who works in our small library, I am at the bottom of the totem pole. I get all kinds of crappy stuff that other people don’t want to do.

  9. Wow, that telemarketing job sounds perfectly awful, I would have ended up crying on the phone with those people too. Why would they give you a list of deceased people? That’s just ridiculous!

  10. That was some of the funniest reading I’ve had lately. Why would they ever want you to start on Black Friday? Even though I have 2 kids…I don’t like little ones that don’t belong to me!! So I would’ve done the same thing!

  11. Oh my! This is definitely a list of jobs I couldn’t handle either, ugh. I can’t believe they’d give you a list of mostly dead people!! How awful! And Black Friday and a Kid’s Night? Oh wow! Boy, I’m sure you’re glad those days are over. I can hardly handle the two kids I have much less a whole room demanding entertainment. Whoa!

  12. Hahaha! I have not had anything even come close to this.

  13. Oh, my, costumes! My youngest son once worked at a restaurant where he had to dress up in a giant bird costume. He hated working there!

    And telemarketing…my daughter did that for awhile.

    I’ve never enjoyed being on the phone either. In my social work career, I had to talk to people in crisis a lot. And, unfortunately, I couldn’t ignore the calls. So naturally, when I was at home, all calls went to my machine. This was before caller ID.

    You have had your share of it, too!

  14. Sorry to say it, but this is the funniest post I’ve read in a long time. You should base a novel on these… or at least, submit them to a careers website as cautionary tales!

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